What a feeling

So, it’s 2:12 a.m. as I start this post, and I’m absolutely exhausted.

I had a brutal deadline tonight and probably wrote roughly 4,000 words for my newspaper — more than normal — and, of course, worked about 15 hours at my regular job today — not more than normal — but I still couldn’t wait when I got home at roughly 12:30 to work on getting my book up on Amazon.

And it took me a while, but it’s up there. “Under review,” they say.

And I feel weird. Nervous. Elated. And kind of victorious. It’s been a bit more than 21 years since I fancied myself a writer, and first dreamed of publishing a novel. And yeah, there’s been a shit ton of obstacles in the way, and yeah, it’s just on Amazon, as some of you are whispering and sneering out there in the back of the crowd. But where’s your book? What the hell have you done with your life other than mock and tear down others who have tried.

So, yeah, it’s just on Amazon. And yeah, I’ll probably just sell about a dozen copies — and that’s if my Mom buys six or seven of them as gifts — but it’s published. It’s out there in the world. It’s available to more than, what, 500 or 600 million people?

It could make it big. Probably won’t, but could. And you know I’m going to market this thing to no end.

Anyway, let me have my bliss. Let me enjoy this finish line. It’s taken a long time, and you couldn’t possibly understand why I feel this way, and you probably don’t even think it’s a big deal, but I’m still sitting here pretty pumped up. Because in roughly 12 hours — according to Amazon’s estimated review time — I’m going to be a published author.

It’s too bad I don’t drink. I feel like celebrating.

The cover comes together

As I mentioned below, I’ve spent much of the weekend finalizing my book. It’s insane how much time I’ve spent working on the formatting, putting in an interactive table of contents, and researching how best to upload it so that it works on all the various versions of Kindle and other ebooks. It’s no wonder most authors either skip this step or pay someone to do it.

Trust me, it’s not fun. But, I intend to sell more than a dozen copies of my ebook, and also charge more than .99 cents. So, if you want to pull off these two things, then you sweat the details.

But, I’m nearly done, and Danah’s about got the cover smoked. We used some artwork we found online to get the gist of what we were looking for, and then we took photos of me in various poses that she will distort and eventually make look awesome.

And yes, I know I’m not wearing a cowboy hat, but Danah just needed something approximate that she can distort. And we thought this jacket was probably the oldest looking style jacket that we had. So, below are the original shots, and I’ll upload the cover as soon as we get ‘er done.

You won’t believe the magic she can pull off from these shots. And you definitely won’t believe the cover she has designed.

Update on book progress

I spent more than six hours tonight formatting my book for the Kindle, and I’m still not close to being done. I may be halfway done. Maybe.

Meanwhile, Danah, who’s an awesome artist with a background in animation and design, moved and shifted all kinds of fonts, shapes, and graphics as she worked on the book cover.

She called me down to the basement about twenty minutes ago and the cover knocked me off my feet. Hopefully, we’ll be posting it soon, and get the book up for sale in the coming days.

But, we want to nail it, so I’m not going to put a hard deadline on when it will be posted.

Stan

P.S. You may have noticed the site is no longer called Stan Mitchell, but instead is now Stan R. Mitchell (though the actual address didn’t change). That’s because Danah showed me how much better Stan R. Mitchell looks on the cover. Plus, she argued there are too many Stan Mitchel’s out there, so we should be more specific. I agreed she was right, and loved how the cover looked with the “R,” so I’m now Stan R. Mitchell to my future millions of fans. (And still just Stan, the delusional dreamer and workaholic, to my friends. Though, given that I just finished working 18 days straight at my real job, and given that I haven’t hit the town in so long that I don’t remember where it is, there’s a good chance I don’t even have any friends anymore.)

P.P.S. We’ve also renamed the book. It’s no longer The tale of ‘Little Man’ Paul Zachary and the Dixon County War. It’s now just, Little Man, and the Dixon County War. Several reasons for this. First, fewer words means better looking cover. Second, if you click on the links of my favorite authors down on the right, and then check out their books, you’ll see the vast majority are two words. Thus, our title is primarily Little Man for this one.  Third, this will be the first of many Westerns with Little Man, so we’ve got to brand his name and this series.

P.P.P.S. My friends thought my facebook status was hilarious from Wednesday night. It was just after midnight, I was pretty much delirious after three super-long days and nights, and I was running on that half-starved, super-weak energy that somehow the Marine drill instructors manage to shove down your mouth — or up your ass, if necessary. So, when you’re this weak and tired, you’re often trained to basically keep talking shit and then step up to back it up. Marine enemies think we’re crazy, and they’re pretty much right. Enough talk. Here’s my post, written when I was so weak that I could hardly walk out of the office to my Jeep…

Facebook post: “I strongly suggest no one work as much as I worked the past 16 days straight. It was absurd, even by Marine standards. But, tonight, Danah and I wrapped up our special section (and our regular deadline) and can finally sleep in just a bit tomorrow. And Danah Akin Mitchell stayed with me nearly step for step, which given her lack of Marine training, and her lack of seven years of endurance build up for this kind of stupidity, pretty much makes her the bombdiggity — something I already knew. And probably means she’s tempted to look for another husband… I better go find something sweet for her.

“Couple of additional postscripts that I should have mentioned. One, I thank God we had no major tech issues or that I didn’t get massively sick or any number of other problems that could have occurred. Two, for all my dozens of girlfriends out there, who are always nearly suicidal when they go a couple weeks without seeing me, fear not. You know I’ve got weights in the office. I didn’t fall behind on my training regimen. Just my sleep.

“And a final fair warning, to all those writers on the gravy train at the top of the fiction world. Enjoy the ride while you can. You have never — believe me — never met anyone like me. You’ve never had a guy as short as me, with such small man’s syndrome, from an inner city school, with no connections, with such absurd drive, and such insane silly delusions, trying to hunt you down. Believe me. I’m coming for you, and you don’t stand a chance. So, go ahead and hit snooze tomorrow morning. Rest easy tonight. Your days are numbered. Soon, you’ll be praying God smite me with some plague, because otherwise, if I’m able to sit in a chair, or move my fingers, or even pronounce the words, then you’re in deep shit. Because I’m coming for you…”